Cringe Fest Christian

I had many celebrity boy crushes growing up..but Christian Slater was by far the first. I also had a very odd crush on a much older Patrick Swayze due to the influence of Dirty Dancing but that quickly past. Christian Slater was by far the top of the cake soon after I had seen Kuffs (with a K instead of a C to increase the irony). Perhaps it was his gravely Nicholson voice and high eye brows, lucious and greasy dirty blonde locks that fell over his smiling eyes, what ever it was this boy oozed sex appeal when I was a pre-teen. He was also one of the most popular actors in the late 80's and early 90's. For awhile this dude could do anything and still make some decent cash at it. Sure he made his fair share of good movies (actually..only two). Particularly, Heathers and True Romance.





He also was arrested on numerous occasions, spaning drug abuse, marital abuse, and packing a loaded weapon. C.S was such a bad boy. Who would want a timid Emilio when you could have crazy sexy Christian?




He also had some pretty high profile romances, including Winona and few other gals that arn't really making there mark in Hollywood anymore. What amazes me most about celebrity mixed with youth, is you never imagined they'd grow up either. Even when I still think of Christian I picture him as that cute twenty something breaking all the rules, and all the hearts.




Luckily C.S is time capsuled in such classics as Pump Up The Volume, The Wizard, Young Guns 2, Robinhood, and as the voice of Pips in Ferngully.



Also, doesn't the above look an awful like the cartoon versions of Christian and Winona? Except they have wings? I think so.


Who could forget some of his later careers cash ins like Bed Of Roses (with Benny & Joon's Mary Stuart Masterson) & Untamed Heart? Where by he plays one.. a shy florist and two a shy dishwasher/shut in.

Imdb describes the plot of a Bed of Roses as a:

Romantic drama about a young career girl (Mary Stuart Masterson) who is swept off her feet by a shy florist (Christian Slater), who fell in love with her after one glimpse through a shadowy window.

Last night my friends and I gathered around to watch a classic VHS version of Untamed Heart and we were some what appalled and facinated at the same time. Even the wine we were drinking could not coat the fact that this movie is awful/life affirming. Especially because we couldn't realize how much we bought into the foder of this film in our youth. Very much like a awful car crash you can't take your eyes off of. We also couldn't figure out if it was the romantisism of the 90's or just youth in general..but when we were young we thought this was one of the sweetest movies of our time. Well, at least I did. And will gladly admit it. As well as Roger Ebert who described Untamed Heart as being

"Kind of sweet and goofy, and works because it's heart is in the right place"
Or in the case of this movie, C.S's baboon heart is not in its right place and that's why he dies in the end. Check out the full review here.




We also made note of how much Christian looked like The Beast from the early 90's tv show Beauty & The Beast. I think the resemblance is uncanny. I also think that if Christian Slater survived in Untamed Heart this is how he would have inevitably aged due to his baboon heart. There is nothing better then his brief monologue in Untamed Heart about his childhood living as a orphan and how the Sisters used to tell him magical stories of his parents and how they died.



We also came the conclusion that there is no way Marisa Tomei could ever watch herself in the movie ever again. We could barely get through it, so there is no chance in hell she could either. I'm sure it's something she has just whole heartedly blocked out from her memory.



C.S is luckily still in the industry some what. I think the last movie I ever saw him in was 3000 Miles To Graceland. An awful movie my parents rented one time where in Christian a long side Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner (two other babes from classic early 90's features) live out their middle age rock n roll Elvis fantasies. I also wonder why Christian Slater, a long side Nicholas Cage and other actors have very weird and some what perverted facinations with Elvis Presley?? I.e True Romance and 300 Miles To Graceland vs. Wild At Heart and Leaving Las Vegas?)

Anyway, I think I spent way to much time writing this blog post so much so that my brain hurts. I'll leave you with one last little tid bit of C.S glory which I think sums up his career fairly well.